I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
