So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
