ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
