How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
