we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
