I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
