i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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