true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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