I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
