i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
