Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
