Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
they're like a gay fantastic four
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
