I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want a musical about memes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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