it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
