I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
