So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
