Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
