I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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