nut hugger
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize