haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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