It's Friday. Sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just invented taco cereal.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
