Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
