He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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