I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
