Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
