what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
