Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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