oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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