week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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