Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
