just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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