Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
