I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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