can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
