her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
