physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
