That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
