She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
