Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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