Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
