i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize