Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
