Betty ford says i'm here all night
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
