Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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