that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
