butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
