Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
