Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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