he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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