I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
