i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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