Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
