my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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