just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
