True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
