oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
