the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
