Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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