I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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