dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My dad is sitting where you rode me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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