You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
