i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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