My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I bet he comes in French.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
