Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
