SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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