it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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