Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish you could order shots online.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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