he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so let's talk penis.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
