I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you never un-have a 4some
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
