I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
