they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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