I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
