you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize