I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
