She's JV to your varsity
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
