THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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