Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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