He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
